Belgium: Europe’s Capital of Not-Quite-Normal

Is Belgium really surreal? It can be. In my 12 years living in Brussels, I’ve encountered all manner of weirdness: a marching band composed entirely of geese, papier-mâché giants escorting a tree through the city centre, a giant blue brain floating above the city and the city’s emblem, the Manneken Pis statue, peeing beer.

My adoptive home doesn’t take itself too seriously. This is the home of painter René Magritte, Belgium’s best-known messer-up of ordinary life, as well as writer Marcel Lecomte and poets Paul Nougé and Marcel Mariën – all part of Belgium’s surrealist movement in the early 20th century.

Last year, one of Brussels’ loveliest municipal museums, a neo-gothic beauty on the Grand Place, put on a funny, thoughtful exhibition devoted to all the insults the poet Baudelaire threw at the country during his unhappy stay here in the 1860s. Posters filled the city with his choicest cruelties: ‘All Belgians without exception have empty heads’ or ‘The Belgian is monkey, but also mollusc.’ It takes a certain kind of subversive spirit to do that, but it also takes confidence; and Belgium has plenty of reasons to be confident.

It’s a place of exuberant creativity for a start, punching above its weight on the world stage. The Antwerp Six made fashion history in the 1980s; since then the likes of Raf Simons and Olivier Theyskens have kept the Belgian flag flying ultra-stylishly high. The Brussels art scene is as buoyant now as it has been since the 15th century Flemish Primitives, with a wealth of independent galleries and ambitious museums.

There’s wonderful food, too: even Baudelaire had a soft spot for gingerbread from historic Brussels biscuit shop Dandoy. During the day, the city smells of warm dough, vanilla and caramel from street corner waffle vans; at night, it’s the irresistible bouquet of piping hot frites twice-cooked in beef dripping. There are handmade pralines, elegant as jewellery; perfect brasseries for a blowout Belgian meal; and beers brewed with love.

Above all, Belgium is surprising. Still, after all these years, it finds ways to confound and delight me: an art nouveau fresco of birds above an office building, a secret garden, the bizarre music they play in the Metro (the cancan) or a stuffed giraffe peering out of a junk shop window. Why not let it surprise you, too?

Brussels

Eat and drink

A classic brasserie dinner needn’t mean succumbing to the frenetic mussel peddlers of the tourist trap Rue des Bouchers. Instead, duck into L’Ogenblik, a loved-by-locals bistro with sand scattered on the parquet floor – a relic of the age of chewing (and spitting) tobacco. There’s seasonal game on the menu, perfect steaks and a seductive atmosphere.

For a snack on the run that isn’t frites, brave the crush at fast and furious Noordzee for plates of braised razor clams or prawn croquettes. Order, grab a perch on the atmospheric Sainte Catherine Square and wait until one of the chaps behind the counter bellows an approximation of your name.

Brussels does cool as well as classic. Located in indie record label PIAS’ headquarters and manned by Noma alumnus Yannick Van Aeken, Humphrey has impeccable rock’n’roll credentials. Vibrant small plates pack a flavour punch and the vast chocolate sphere you smash to reveal handmade truffles is a must-order.

You’ll want a waffle, but earn it with a walk through the mature chestnut trees of the Bois de la Cambre. Take the tiny ferry across the lake to Chalet Robinson on the island and refuel with waffles and crepes, served with warm salted caramel or dark chocolate sauce.

Beer is everywhere in Brussels, but a brewery tour and tasting at frozen-in-time Cantillon is extra-special: it hasn’t changed how it brews its classic mouth-puckeringly sour gueuze since 1900.

The waiters at art nouveau bar Le Cirio (Rue de la Bourse) look like they have been serving since opening night in 1909, but sipping a ‘half and half’ (50:50 sweet wine and fizz, poured tableside with a flourish) surrounded by locals – from well-heeled to frankly disreputable – is one of the best Brussels experiences imaginable.